crouching tiger, hidden grandma

I have really loved having my grandson live with me since his birth eight months ago. Partly because he's my first grandchild, partly because I realize this is a moment in time I'll never get back.

My daughter swears she's not having anymore, but even if she changes her mind in a few years, chances are she won't still be living with me. My son is getting married in April, but when he and his new wife decide to have kids, they won't be living with me either. Having this baby around all the time is special. Rocking him to sleep, being there for sleepy baby cuddles when he wakes up, having 24-hour access to my first grandchild, this is a gift - and I try to take advantage of this time as much as possible.

One of my habits is to creep into his room at night, before I go to bed. I just like to have that last look at him, dreaming his baby dreams. I always touch him lightly - you know, that 'make sure he's still breathing' touch that covers that never-far-away fear.

Last night, that light touch woke him enough to have him looking around a bit. And it had me scurrying to the end of the crib, crouching down so he wouldn't notice me and wake up fully. Every few minutes, I'd peek over the side to see him up on all fours, only barely awake, wobbling sleepily. Then I'd peek over again and find him on his belly, peering through the bars of his crib, trying to hold his eyes open.

Five minutes later, his cheek went to the mattress and his eyes closed and I could tiptoe out.

File this in the 'guess you had to be there' and 'glad there wasn't a camera watching' drawers. :-)