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I hate self-flushing toilets.

Okay, probably not the most genteel topic, but. . . . there you go.

I really dislike automatic toilets. Do any of them actually work on the first swirl? No. Which means you have to go poking around for that little button that is the 'manual' control, and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. When it doesn't, you're left either waving your hand around the sensor, like an idiot, or sitting back down, usually after you've buttoned and fastened back up, just so you can pop up again before the water splashes all over your now covered ass.

Because you have to do something. You can't leave that little piece of tissue floating in the bowl. Or worse.

See? Just give me the handle. Please.