true confessions

I think I need help.

I'm not even sure how it happened or how I got here. I'm usually so careful about this kind of thing, but somehow . . .

That's right . . . I've been sucked into the hot mess that is the ABC show True Beauty.

I'm so ashamed. I don't even like reality shows! Honestly!! Except for "American Idol," I don't even watch them! I've managed to ignore the Survivors, the Amazing Races, the Big Brothers of TV land. Not even a shred of interest. **yawn**

Damn my remote control!! I think it conspired against me last Monday and stopped just long enough to get me hooked.

Help.

Somehow, I can't stop watching the train wreck that is this show involving a houseful of some of the most vapid, self-centered, self-absorbed, amazingly conceited people I've ever seen. They think they're in a competition for America's most beautiful person and don't realize that they're also being judged on 'inner beauty' . . . you know, being nice, playing fair, blah blah blah.

What's not to love?

I even have my own little nicknames for them.

There's the 'Ho (okay, she's a stripper. Ooooh, big difference.)










And then there's the Bitch. She'll go pretty quick. Bet me.





oh, and Pageant Queen. Artificially sweet and wonderful.




Skipper, the swimsuit model. Last night, she showed her boobs for free clothes. Uhhhhh....yea.





Cabana Boy - perfect tan, blonde highlights in his hair - definitely pool boy material.




GQ is one hunk of gorgeous. Hubba hubba






Spike (who should really be told that even teenage boys stopped putting that much gel in their hair by about 1997. Just saying.).





Maverick, the guy who's trying so hard to channel the old version of Tom Cruise-cool.





White Barbie (there was a black Barbie who was the first to go), who got voted off last night. Personally, I thought White Barbie's final test was a little wanky. She was judged and sentenced because she didn't help a guy who crashed a bike into the curb a few feet away. But come on . . . is there any woman who doesn't know that Ted Bundy grabbed a few of his victims by hobbling around on crutches, pretending to have a broken leg? Most women are going to hesitate before going up to a strange guy - especially if she's wearing a long white silk dress and looks (in the words of the judges) like a Grecian Goddess. (Again, not my words.)

I'm sick, I tell you. Sick. Please . . . someone needs to bash my head in with a soft mallet.

Just not on Monday nights, between 9:00 and 10:00. Pretty please.

EDITED:

hehehe I am apparently alone in the guilty pleasure I take in watching this mess of a show. The ladies at Jezebel don't much like it. I'll just add this to the list of stuff that makes me not-cool. :-)