heart aches

My grandson is going to daycare today for the first time, and it's breaking my heart.

Oh, the woman he'll be spending his time with is perfectly lovely and capable. She's a mother herself. She's passed background checks and knows CPR and has a wonderful, child-friendly home.

But she's not my daughter and she's not me.

I'm also being very hypocritical. My kids went to daycare, after all. They went when I was in school and after I started working. I trusted my providers to take care of my children the same way I did.

But this time, it's my precious precious little grandson, the joy of my life. Will she appreciate his beautiful smiles? Will she laugh with him when he stands up and bounces like he's Tigger? Will she growl back at him when he growls? Will she tickle him and make him giggle the way we do? Will she lie down and let him crawl all over her, the way he loves to do?

Did my heart ache this when I left my own children with their sitter? I'm sure it did. Right now, though, this pain is new and fresh and strong.

Nobody tells you this stuff about having a grandchild.